I Need to Vent

The past few months or so have really tested my definitions of what it means to be a good person. Is one a good person when he is always giving to others at the cost of his own happiness? Is one good when he takes nothing for himself and strives to only serve? When he is soft and gentle to others despite facing cruelty and manipulation in return? I used to be good like that, and perhaps that was when i was truly a good person. But I do not see that as good anymore. I see that as a weakness.

Being that way only gets you hurt, and hurt some more until you become bitter and resentful. Your demise is brought about by your own beliefs and actions. Maybe that is what I am now, bitter and resentful. The kind words I would once go out of my way to say have dried up and in its place is a watchful silence. The shoulder that used to be there for others to lean on has gone cold to the touch. I focus on myself. I focus on growing my power and becoming a force to be reckoned with. On sharpening my mind and becoming like steel. To me, good is being dangerous but choosing not to do any harm. Being good means standing up for yourself first, and then others. Becoming downright barbaric in order to do what needs to be done only if your actions mean good in the long run.

Being nice and polite is over rated anyway. Authenticity is what we need desperately.