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I Am Canadian

Canadian Sarcasm!!😉😝🇨🇦

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.  

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.  

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.  

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.  

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto,Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?  

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.  

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.  

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.  

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.  

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.  

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.  

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.  

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.  

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.  

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.  

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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SW-User
Haha. Thanks for the morning chuckles 😄. I love being a Canadian ,especially an east coast one 😉
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User Your very welcome, glad you enjoyed them!!😄 I share your sentiments too!!😉
SW-User
Wanna share something else 🤭@faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User You are just too naughty!!😳🙈😏
SW-User
Who moi ? 😏. @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User You are an expert!!😏😉
SW-User
Naww just a lot of practice 😁. @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User You are just being modest!!😏😉
SW-User
Haha ...yup that’s me ..mr modest 🙃. @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User I love your honesty!!😏
SW-User
Thanks . I try to be sincere😊 @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User 🤗🤗
SW-User
🤗. Now don’t be fooled,I’m still a bad bad boy at heart 😉. Lol @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User I know you you are and very entertaining!!😜😋
SW-User
You ain’t seen nothin yet 😉. Just warming up 🤭. You know where the real entertainment begins 😉🤭@faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
Wow, I can't wait!!😉😋@SW-User
SW-User
Yet I’m still waiting for the curtains to go up 🤔.

[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F-t8PngHgWY]

@faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User I think the curtains have gone up...you missed the show Bugs Bunny!!😜🤭
SW-User
😦.
I’ll catch tomorrow’s show😉 @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User Are you playing Donald Duck!!🤔😜
SW-User
Bit kinky but if you wish😉. Lol @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User You would be a handsome duck!!😜😏
SW-User
Haha. Subliminal message isn’t it 😉. Duck rhymes with ... I’m on to ya missy 😁@faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
@SW-User Leave it to you to find a hidden meaning!!😜😅
SW-User
You know me 😉. Always thinking in around and outside the box 🤪. Lol @faith2hope4love
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
Yes, I do understand your way of thinking...I guess I must be nutty too!!🤪😉😅@SW-User