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I Am Canadian

Canadian Sarcasm!!😉😝🇨🇦

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.  

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.  

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.  

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.  

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto,Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?  

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.  

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.  

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.  

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.  

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.  

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.  

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.  

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.  

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.  

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.  

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
GeorgeTBH · 31-35, M
😂 that is awesome people ask me how do i plug stuff into my igloo i just say all of canada is powered by a long extension cord plugged into some guys house in the usa
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@772167,GeorgeTBH] Yes, indeed!!😂🍁
GeorgeTBH · 31-35, M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] 🤗🇨🇦
SW User
Aye....same when ever available 🙂[@670636,faith2hope4love]
SW User
Haha. Thanks for the morning chuckles 😄. I love being a Canadian ,especially an east coast one 😉
SW User
What about haggis and spotted dick ?🤭[@670636,faith2hope4love]
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@830194,Realniceone4u] That must be a CB delicacy!!🤔🤭😉
SW User
Oh we have many delicacies 😉. Haha[@670636,faith2hope4love]
Rutterman · 41-45, M
Lol. Good to know Europeans are as ignorant as Americans. 😅
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@121363,Rutterman] You won't be sending him a tweet to wish him a Happy New Year!!😜😂
Rutterman · 41-45, M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] Lol. It's probably safe to assume that. 🤪 😄
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@121363,Rutterman] You are a wise man!!🤗😜
UserNameSW · 41-45, M
Best post of 2018 eh
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@291556,UserNameSW] Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it,eh!!😄
nudydude · 56-60, M
Love it
Yes I only been to Montreal and Quebec, but I love your country.

Hey going naked to the hippo races seems like fun. hee hee

Bare Hugs
Nudy
nudydude · 56-60, M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] yes I have. One reason I am good at giving bare hugs 🤗

Bare Hugs
Nudy
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@6557,nudydude] Awww, I like your bare hugs!!🤗🐻
nudydude · 56-60, M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] 🤗
I love giving them. hee hee

Bare Hugs
Nudy
MrsKatherineArch · 36-40, F
And no Quebec jokes....
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@186368,MrsKatherineArch] Non pas cette fois!!😆
MrsKatherineArch · 36-40, F
[@670636,faith2hope4love] Quel dommage 😁
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@186368,MrsKatherineArch] 😥😥
VladG94 · 26-30, M
I find this post and the Canadian prejudices against the Americans more stupid than the American interpretations of this culture.. Sure they may not know of this culture as well but there are Americans living in this culture as well as there's cons within Canadians that make Canada imperfect. In fact, the irrational hate that many Canadians hold against Donald Trump as well as the blind love that Canadians hold for Trudeau really shows and proves how corrupt and stupid us Canadians really are! There's pros and cons in both cultures between eachother in regards to interactions, and Canada does NOT qualify as a perfect cultures regardless of how many self-righteous asswipes who can't handle criticism want to justify in their own moronic actions!
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@857258,VladG94] This is a humorous post and only meant for fun. You have taken it way too seriously. You have made assumptions in your comments that are incorrect....

Not all Canadians hate Donald Trump and not all of us love Trudeau.

You have to learn to lighten up and not get upset by what someone else has posted...we do enjoy freedom of speech in both the US and Canada!!🤗
nahright09 · 41-45, M
this is hilarious. I once had an American client ask me if we celebrated New Years on the same day.
UserNameSW · 41-45, M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] 14 month with 37 and a half days. Our days are 25 hours long, extra daylight every day.
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@291556,UserNameSW] That is very interesting!!🤔 Do you follow the metric calendar? I would love extra daylight hours!!😊
UserNameSW · 41-45, M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] of course I do
SW User
I love Canadian
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@700444,Anna666] So do I!!😊
Tminus6453 · M
Does everyone have their own Maple tree out back to make their own syrup with?🤔😋(TheWorld)
Tminus6453 · M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] Im pretty sure we can grow them, i'll just go buy my own...🤓
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
I can always send you some maple syrup...maple butter is even better!!😋
Tminus6453 · M
[@670636,faith2hope4love] Haha, thats very sweet of you to offer, but i'll be ok 😊
Mesher · 36-40, M
How is someone running a million dollar company selling Banff air to the Chinese and athletes?
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@629718,Mesher] A company that sells “fresh Banff air” in a bottle has seen a huge rise in demand from customers in China.

Vitality Air hand-bottled mountain oxygen from Banff and Lake Louise sells for $13 and up.

In recent weeks, the company has seen a surge in demand from China. The city of Beijing was choked by extremely severe air pollution earlier this month.
TheWildEcho · 56-60, M
Lol, great post. Love the one about milk!!
With all them Holsteins??😃
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@722316,TheWildEcho] Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!!🤗 I thought you would like that one!!🤭😜
TheWildEcho · 56-60, M
Do you know the story of the Scottish man who went to Canada and saw a large animal?
He asked a local man who told him it was the Canadian mousse!!
Wow, said the Scot, your rat must be huge!
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@722316,TheWildEcho] That is hilarious!!😂😂 Thank you for sharing!!🤗 I am sure my ancestors had a shock when they arrived in Nova Scotia...what have we done!!🤔😉🙄

Our rats are huge!!😉
unknownpoetx · 31-35, M
wow ameritards are really stupid
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@1059,unknownpoetx] 😂😂
Rhodesianman · 56-60, M
hahahaha love it
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@470110,Rhodesianman] Glad you enjoyed the humour!!😅
lorne13 · 61-69, M
Lol, tbis is great
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@354891,lorne13] Glad you enjoyed it!!😂
sciguy18 · M
Good post, eh?
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@361684,sciguy18] Thank you,eh!!😆😝
Degbeme · 61-69, M
This is great. 😂
faith2hope4love · 56-60, F
[@72117,Degbeme] I know, eh!!😂😜

 
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