I Keep My Emotions Bottled Up

To much, I can't I don't know how to express them to personal, to sad, to hurtful....when I get to the point I'm a ticking time bomb I still don't express them; I cry and let them burn a hole right through my heart with the worst burning sensation. I rather get hurt playing with fire than let someone else close enough to see the sparks....its gotten easy just smile nod and say "I'm fine" "I'm okay" always have been.