I Have Come To A Conclusion
I have now been chatting on here for quite a while.
I came here to find other red diaper babies like myself (children born to, adopted by, or raised by parents who were both in the Communist Party).
Most red diaper babies, like most other children, were raised in mostly happy families. I was a red diaper reject, an unselected one, punished by rejection and abuse for my father's problems with the CP back in the 1940s before I was born. My mother was a powerful and frightening person who worked, I believe, in the very secret part of the CP, possibly Internal Security.
After a long time of not meeting anyone else from my background, I have come to the conclusion that either I am just not that likely to meet anyone of this type here...or...my posts and messages are being blocked or otherwise messed with by my long time CP people. That would mean that I could never connect with anyone from a red diaper background here (or possibly on the Internet).
I believe my mother worked as a youth trainer of girls and many of those scary women she once trained are still out there. I know they will never respond to me here or anywhere; they are only a danger to me and would not want to help me.
But someone somewhere may be out there reading my posts and my stories, trying to get up their nerve to respond, perhaps trying, as I have, to speak up in spite of drug and hypnotic sleep programming/interrogations and threats.
Please, if you are that person, go ahead and message me. I believe we would be safer as friends than we would be just trying to survive our targetted lives alone. Let's reach out to each other. Maybe the information we can share will improve our lives or at least improve our mental state. If you are there, reach out. Please.
I came here to find other red diaper babies like myself (children born to, adopted by, or raised by parents who were both in the Communist Party).
Most red diaper babies, like most other children, were raised in mostly happy families. I was a red diaper reject, an unselected one, punished by rejection and abuse for my father's problems with the CP back in the 1940s before I was born. My mother was a powerful and frightening person who worked, I believe, in the very secret part of the CP, possibly Internal Security.
After a long time of not meeting anyone else from my background, I have come to the conclusion that either I am just not that likely to meet anyone of this type here...or...my posts and messages are being blocked or otherwise messed with by my long time CP people. That would mean that I could never connect with anyone from a red diaper background here (or possibly on the Internet).
I believe my mother worked as a youth trainer of girls and many of those scary women she once trained are still out there. I know they will never respond to me here or anywhere; they are only a danger to me and would not want to help me.
But someone somewhere may be out there reading my posts and my stories, trying to get up their nerve to respond, perhaps trying, as I have, to speak up in spite of drug and hypnotic sleep programming/interrogations and threats.
Please, if you are that person, go ahead and message me. I believe we would be safer as friends than we would be just trying to survive our targetted lives alone. Let's reach out to each other. Maybe the information we can share will improve our lives or at least improve our mental state. If you are there, reach out. Please.
70-79, F
