Upset
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Today was the day [I Hate Court Hearings]

My sentence hearing was today I’m in shock I’m about to spend 8 years in prison I feel empty knew this day was coming all year still doesn’t seem real I have 90 days to turn myself in. I have 90 days before I spend nearly a decade behind bars my nana could die before I’m free. I’m going to take these years to grow as a person and really better myself though. I hope to get into programs so when I do get out I’ll have a certificate or something and could start a career and turn myself around. I’m going to spend the rest of my 20’s in prison I’ll be 31 when I’m released I’ve been crying all day but know I did it to myself I’ve had so many chances and opportunities I got out of a prison sentence last year and only had a few months in jail instead I should have learned then. I had a really good friend on here who has refused to talk to me since my last arrest in December. I have family who has cut me off I’ve lost so much and did some many bad things I can only deal with it and move on I’m in such a surreal headspace right now I don’t know when I’ll turn myself in but I know it’ll be within 90 days and that haunts me
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Quimliqer · 70-79, M
Your perspective is unreal, especially facing your future. Hoping you achieve your goals!
SW-User
Yeah I’ve had a long time to process everything I’ve barely have though. I was arrested in December and wasn’t released until March I had three months to think hard about my life. I had everyone telling me there was no way I’d avoid prison and just needed to accept it. It’s still surreal but I genuinely feel it’s for the best. Thinking about my life the last three years I was gone. I had no control over my life I was running with the wrong people and they were running me I was just existing day to day playing around and got into real shit. I think it’s a lesson I need to learn to finally live a good life the truth be told I’m not capable of being set free I always fuck up. I need a few years to self build i hope my record hasn’t ruined my life. If I can get past this next couple of years become the person I want to be and get to be released from prison I want to get a real career make good money and love a life full of contentment and something I can be proud of. I want a family a loving husband and my own kids but I don’t want that life until I can be the person the wife and mom deserving of that life. I don’t want to bring innocent lives into this world if that is the world they are gong to be coming into. I want to have a nice place for my kids to grow up and be in a loving caring and supporting household. I don’t want my kids to know the same life I’ve known. But I’m years away from becoming that person. I am scared shitless about this but I know it’s unfortunately necessary for my development I wasn’t going to change without it and I couldn’t see that until it was too late. I hope someone reads my profile and she learns from my fuck ups that’s why I haven’t deleted a lot of post on here I should have. @Quimliqer
@SW-User 💗 I hope and pray that you will keep your good and healthy attitude. Don't ever give up on yourself. You can do this.💗