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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

After years, YEARS of begging my husband to go to the doctor, because I do believe that part of the problem was physical, he finally went. His bloodwork results are starting to trickle in and surprise, surprise, surprise, he has extremely low testosterone and vitamin D levels. On the one hand, I am happy that he will start feeling better with treatment, but on the other hand I know that the emotional damage he has done to me is the far bigger problem. I feel so, so frustrated. And really pissed off.
LipstickandHeels
51-55, F
24 replies 118 views Jan 17, 2017
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QueenOfSmiles · 46-50, F
My husband still refuses...he started taking a testosterone supplement from the health food store, to no avail. Giant sigh.
+ 4 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
LipstickandHeels · 51-55, F
I'm so sorry. I asked mine to make an appointment as my birthday present, I don't know what finally made him agree, but he did.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
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SW-User
I never baulk at the idea of going to the doctors, particularly as I turn 60 next year. You never know what is around the corner and a simple doctor's appointment could spot something unpleasant that is lurking within. I wish more men would swallow their macho pride and get themselves seen to.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
LipstickandHeels · 51-55, F
Well, and that's the part that makes me angry. I mean simple vitamin started years ago could have made a great difference.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
SW-User
I want to enjoy life for as a long as I can. Doctors help us do it (if you can get an appointment, that is - but don't get me started on that one!)
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
LeggyOldWench · 51-55, F
I know and understand exactly how you feel😞
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
melbeacher · 56-60, M
Wish I could help !
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
Well at least you know the problem and he is willing to try to get better. Hopefully the good results will offset some of the frustration. One person I know will not even take the meds that might help her.
:-(
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
LipstickandHeels · 51-55, F
Unfortunately, it's not the whole problem. I can understand and even sympathize with a medical problem causing him to be uninterested in sex. But he hasn't been interested in me as a person either, and that's what I don't think I can get past.
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
@LipstickandHeels: yes that is sad. I totally understand that all too well
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
lasergraph · 70-79, M
You can usually fix the physical but the emotional stuff takes a lot longer if possible at all. Without communication and trust the physical probably doesn't matter anyway.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
LipstickandHeels · 51-55, F
That is so true.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
Noble · 56-60, M
I've seen much of the same from the opposite vantage point. The lack of deep emotional connection in my marriage has caused a lot of 'disappointment'. Without the emotional side hitting on all cylinders, the physical takes it's toll.
Anyhow, you may not see it as a transferable connection, but I wanted to chime in.
Moreover, wishing you well in your effort ol fulfillment.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 19, 2017
wudifu · 46-50, M
shame ....im sure it took a lot of guts to go to the doc to find the prob but luckily he went ....he must have really felt ashamed to say the least that he cant satisfy his mrs....buy him walnuts and honey let him eat it for a month....It increases blood movement and increases libido and testosterone.....when I eat that stuff I am solid like a rock for the next week after taking it daily for a month
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 23, 2017
LUVELACE · T
It's a problem men have in general,going too doctors cause they think they know all the answers,but I have experience something similar due to being transgender/transsexual
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
AnonymouslyMe · 36-40, F
Ahh man I can relate to this. At this point I DONT want him to go to the doctor anymore because I am emotionally checked out. Now that I'm done, you want to fix it all? Shit.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2017
Rambler · M
The emotions are always the bigger problem...wishing you healing.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
LipstickandHeels · 51-55, F
I can understand not being interested in sex, but I can't get past him not being interested in me, just as a person. I have come to recognize, through the years and years of this, that I have a much higher need for emotional connection than he does. I need conversation, and even non-sexual touch - hand-holding, hugs, a kiss goodbye - in a way that he simply doesn't. And so when we were having sex (way back when) it was the one way I was getting my emotional fulfillment.
+ 5 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
OzDiver · 61-69, M
@LipstickandHeels: Oh boy, I know EXACTLY what you mean. A kiss, a touch, a hand hold, goes such a long way towards acknowledging you.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 25, 2017
Newfrommars · 41-45, M
Did they explain reason for low levels?
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 18, 2017
LipstickandHeels · 51-55, F
Not yet. He has an appointment to discuss with his doctor next week. I am certain a big part of it is weight gain, which then becomes a viscous cycle as both D and testosterone go down when you are overweight, then their being low makes you gain weight, then they drop lower, etc, etc, etc.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 18, 2017
Newfrommars · 41-45, M
@LipstickandHeels: oh boy. That sucks.
Him not being intimate the other underlaying reason not just alone the testerone or D. How about work and family stress and or any incident?

I have gone through similar situation. Perhaps something we can talk about on PM
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 18, 2017
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Dangerousliasons
Well of he won't others sure will!!!
Cheers!
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 17, 2017
 
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