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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Things right now are getting better, but not.

So my husband has finally left being a supporter of Daesh (ISIS/ISIL).

At first I didn't believe it but he has. And I'm happy. He is now more like a Shi'ah Muslim. I have no problem with it as long as he is better, and not like before.

So when we talk religious affairs now, he almost seems like a friend. But it ends there.

I'm not supposed to listen to music out loud because it attracts devils. Music and dancing is evil.

He's much nicer to the kidz, but doesn't spend as much time on them as I'd like.

He still tells me about things that will send me to hell. He hasn't tried to mend anything. He is all about religion and nothing can be personal. No personal love or anything like that.

When he was bad, I understood my place in things. Now that he's added some niceness to it. Now I'm back to being to being confused. Right when I thought he was changing, he hasn't completely changed. Grrrr. Now I'm torn between feeling guilty and validated.

I'm feeling a bit twisted about it.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
The thing is Rose, he [u][i]has[/i][/u] changed regarding his religious views, but he hasn't changed regarding your SM situation.

Why do [b][i]you[/i][/b] feel guilty?
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
I geuss it goes right back to the old pattern of feeling justified when they're mean, but then you feel bad for feeling that way when they act the tiniest bit nice.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
@darktippedrose: I understand this, and it shows how nice and what a forgiving person you are. It's not logical, and it doesn't help us, but it's the way some of us are wired.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
@Carissimi: yes it is. And I get frustrated with myself everytime I realize it. Like seriously, why?
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Granted I'm one opinion, but in terms of "husband quality", you're dumpster diving.

You have one life on this Earth. Don't waste it as a second class citizen to a useless ass.

Value yourself.
Annie1899 · 36-40, F
I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Please make sure you're taking care of yourself and your children.
Coppercoil · M
Sounds rough. Hoping things continue to improve, even if only gradually
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
thank you, and yes its rough
Northwest · M
Your husband is very confused.

1. Shia Islam, is engaged in an extermination war against ISIS, and is actively engaged in Iraq, Syria, Lebanon and Yemen.

2. Under Shia Islam, you can demand your sexual marital rights. If he's unwilling, or incapable to provide, then you have the right to demand a divorce, as well as compensation.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
I dont know a lot about it. I'm still learning a bit about it. But I can demand it also under Sunni Islam too so .....

But good luck with me for that. My husband doesn't REMEMBER rejecting me.

sometimes he remembers, but mostly he doesn't.
Kyle1791 · 31-35, M
i wish i had someone to love and cuddle
notsure · 56-60, M
I feel for you x
SW-User
So what's your religion?
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
We're both Muslims.
SW-User
Sorry, I misread it at first
This message was deleted by its author.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
I don't understand your comment.
SW-User
@darktippedrose: I am so sorry, I misread your post
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
oh ok. thanx

 
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