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I Want To Stop Letting People Get To Me

It’s the dumbest and childish thing ever and one of the biggest flaws I have. For some reason I’ve always cared about what people thought of me. Then I’d try hard to fix things and it would almost always make the situation worse. It bugs me greatly and I don’t know why. I may be 20 but some days I feel like I haven’t grown up. This is one of the things that makes me feel this way.

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wakanda4eva · 26-30, F

I feel you on a deep level 😲 (except I'm an otaku andddd you can sort of get the picture lol) the fact that you put in effort to fix things is the mindset of an adult already ;) to be responsible~ but some things are not meant to be fixed, although it is a very admirable trait to be empathatic, will hurt both parties instead because sometimes others don't get that, not saying it's their fault or ur fault, but for them to understand others they have to fight it out, question the other parties point of view, an argumentative personality. When they fight they don't look to see ur point of view but to justify their point of view. and if their wrong, they admit defeat or are still stubborn to their point of view lol.

The thing is not everyone will see people the same as you, so with the wrong people, they can easily emotionally manipulate you and use you for their own beneift. some unknowingly because they assume you would be okay with it, and other more dangerous ones that knowingly try to suck you dry.

This is just my two cents lol cos I have a very empathetic Dad and I'm sort of the emotional abuser because if you keep giving, they'll just keep taking, cos they would see it as alright. and when at school I keep giving, cos I'm scared of conflict, and they'll just keep taking seeing nothing is wrong with it. all I can say is that it's either u toughen up ur spine or surround urself with people that care the same way as you do, or your gonna get hurt. or maybe just tell how you really feel, when ur angry tell them, a person with a soul would try to seek harmony with you

Throger · 26-30, M

@wakanda4eva I’ve given up on trying to tell people how I feel. It always turns into the other person instead of having a talk about why we’re both hurt. The thing is is I don’t think I’ll ever stop being the way I am, it’s just sort of something I have to get used to but it’ll always hurt just the same

wakanda4eva · 26-30, F

@Throger <3 well whatever you do, life is short, so live it to the fullest ;) or don't lol just do what makes ya happy

Throger · 26-30, M

@wakanda4eva I will try lol. I haven’t been happy in a very very long time

rottenrobi · 56-60, F

I still feel the same sometimes too. It definitely makes the situation worse and it makes you feel like shit. People who don't care have a much more free life.
Since we only get one chance at this, we might as well look after ourselves and not worry about what others say.

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rottenrobi · 56-60, F

@Throger Don't worry too much, and find your confidence. You'll be just fine.

Throger · 26-30, M

@rottenrobi thank you so much for your kind words and advice 😊

rottenrobi · 56-60, F

@Throger you're delightful. It was a pleasure. ☺️

Trevo · 26-30, M

It's not dumb to feel. Don't fight your feelings. Be true to yourself and you'll feel better. When feelings happen the best thing is just to let them happen until they leave

Throger · 26-30, M

@Trevo yeah I’ve learned not to bottle things up but the ways I handle things aren’t always the best. Especially with what I have going on I tend to have massive breakdowns

Trevo · 26-30, M

@Throger sometimes it does gain overwhelming proportions.

I'm not the best at regulating my emotions as well. However, I can tell you that it's been way easier since I started putting the advice I just gave you in practice. It's important to identify and accept whatever emotion you're feeling, without any resistance, even those are labeled as being bad (anger, envy, jealousy...). You can't control your emotions, you've been shaped this way by many factors. One thing you can control is your actions. If some actions tend to make you experience emotions you don't like, avoid them.

Also if you like pleasing people at the expense of your own needs, maybe this could be useful for you.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hYTPl7MkiA]

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