I Don't Like Being Touched
When people touch me I feel like I've been contaminated, it's unnatural, I become alert.
I don't mind if I'm initiating contact but that too is a bit rare, unless I'm hitting you. As a child the only physical contact I remember is punishment, and plenty of rough housing from my father, I remember I hated enduring that because I always got hurt as a joke and simply laughed along.
And that's it.
Nobody hugged, and I wasn't allowed to hug sometimes, and there was a long period where I lived in isolation. That loss of touch became very natural.
To the point where I'd flinch a lot. But now it just pisses me off, I'm put on high alert and I get this adrenaline rush and I'm in fight or flight mode.
And that's just bothersome, because then it takes me a while to settle down if there's no threat and just some idiot who touched me out of nowhere without permission.
I'm quite ready to stab somebody in the neck when physical contact is initiated. Hate that.
I don't mind if I'm initiating contact but that too is a bit rare, unless I'm hitting you. As a child the only physical contact I remember is punishment, and plenty of rough housing from my father, I remember I hated enduring that because I always got hurt as a joke and simply laughed along.
And that's it.
Nobody hugged, and I wasn't allowed to hug sometimes, and there was a long period where I lived in isolation. That loss of touch became very natural.
To the point where I'd flinch a lot. But now it just pisses me off, I'm put on high alert and I get this adrenaline rush and I'm in fight or flight mode.
And that's just bothersome, because then it takes me a while to settle down if there's no threat and just some idiot who touched me out of nowhere without permission.
I'm quite ready to stab somebody in the neck when physical contact is initiated. Hate that.
22-25, F
