I Can't Stand Myself Sometimes

Jesus fucking christ i just wanna crawl out of my body, i cant stand these feelings that haunt me, ive been simmering with a white hot rage all day, no patience with my Mr, the critters or myself. Sometimes im so desperate to just fucking feel like a normal person...Im frightened because although ive learned a lot of new tools to help me cope this year-Ive never been so out of control with my feelings and how i behave. Its crazy that 6ish years ago...i really was a different person, I look at myself in the mirror and its like looking at a stranger, how did you get here?