It's easier for him to write his feelings rather than speak them, and he texted me a long message last night saying he loves me and hopes I will "have him in my heart" again one day, but he also won't hate me if I leave.
He said "I've come so far thanks to you" because he lived with his parents when we met, and I pushed him to get a job, get his own place, and start going back to school for Cybersecurity. Which he has done.
I care about him as a person, but I just am no longer in love with him. We were trapped in one room together with no breaks for 3 miserable years, and it just suffocated any romantic feelings I once had. Even now I get zero space or alone time- he and I live AND work together. I hate living in Texas too, so every single day is a nightmare for me.
A new friend of mine has offered me a free place to stay in Phoenix AZ, in a year when my current lease is up. I haven't given an answer yet, but my desperation to leave here has me leaning toward yes. If I go, I know it's going to devastate my ex fiance further. 😞 I hate hurting him but I also deserve to be fulfilled after I devoted the last 4 years of my life to an unhappy relationship.
I hate breakups. I hate hurting someone. But I'm not willing to swallow my misery any longer.
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