I Am Grateful

It's 1:30am on a Tuesday. I'm a little bit angry right now. My boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch and we finally came to some sort of understanding today... or at least I thought we did, but after the conversation, he started bringing up past issues again and making slight remarks during our conversations for the rest of the day to stir up things.

I've noticed that this is a part of his process. First, we have the argument, we have a discussion to resolve it and say our apologies, then he comes back later and tells me that he's still mad or he doesn't tell me and just acts spiteful toward me for the rest of the day, I confront him about it, then he justifies it by saying that he thought he was over it but actually needed more time to process it. Then he's fine afterward.

It's just exhausting.

I need a moment to clear my head and focus on the positive again.

I am grateful that I am going to visit my family this weekend. Initially, my boyfriend was supposed to go with me, but he got a mild head injury and understandably wanted to stay at his house to rest. So this Valentine's day we will be apart. I am also grateful for the time apart because I think we both need time to calm down again and to figure out if this is even what we want for each other. I am grateful that I will be seeing some of my best friends in my hometown this weekend. I am grateful that I'll be able to bring back things that bring me joy (sewing machine, art supplies).

I don't know... this is hard. I'm doing my best to stay positive.

xixgun · M

Sounds like a wise course of action.

If he knows that this is "part of his process" for calming down, and you know it too (but it pisses you off); that crap has got to be resolved because things like that only get worse over time.
Tell him, "When the fight/discussion is over, it's over. Bringing up more shit is just a way to start another fight."

(Curiously, and I say this without spite or any intention of aggravating you; but this behavior of his is very often attributed to women. You'll hear male comedians go on and on about how their wives or girlfriends remember everything and bring up things from 6 years ago when they are fighting.)

wtfgirl001 · 31-35, F

@xixgun Haha, no. That doesn't aggravate me. It's actually funny because that's the same thing I was thinking this morning. I sort of feel like I'm dating the type of woman from a comedy script right now. Hmm...