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I Lost My Best Friend My Mother

This month was her death anniversary, and it has killed me inside.
I've hide it pretty good, because not many care, but I have came to the realization i've lost myself because of it.
I've been drinking so much, and pretty much have been self-medicating.
I don't know who I am anymore, and the depression is kicking my ass. I have had so many thoughts of suicide, that im scared I might go through with it.
I don't have family, or really any friends.
This has been such a huge struggle because my mom was my everything, now I have nothing.
I really scared of myself.
I know people will just tell me to get help, but there's no "help" in this town.
Just doctors mocking​ you, and putting you down.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
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SW-User
I feel for you. You know, I lost my husband at a very young age. I wasn't prepared for it. It took me a long time to grieve. I've lost my friends who didn't know what else to do with me. I lost contact with far away relatives too. But there is hope. Grieve if you must, take all the time to grieve. And then, you will see and know, you are ready to face the world again.

I didn't have the luxury to brood or medicate or drink like you're doing now. But in my solitude, I immersed myself with books, self-help/inspirational books, I began reading the bible, I just kept on praying. You know, in difficult times, unseen forces/hands are there to help us. Never lose hope. Eventually, you will see the beauty of the darkness you are in now.

Peace & Love
MissScarlett · 31-35, F
@missingmoments2: Thank you so much, your words mean alot <3 im sorry to hear about your late husband.