My question still stands: Why don't lonely people meet each other?... [I'd Rather Get To Know You Than Small Talk]

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SW-User

They do sometimes, other times they have been hurt and afraid to get hurt again

Riemann · 31-35, M

@SW-User I'd suggest them to think of another lonely person who wants to not be lonely too.

SW-User

@Riemann There's a lot of reasons people may not want to do that

FlowersNButterflies · 61-69, F

Doesn't make sense, does it. I have a lovely husband but we are 3 years in a new area, and very hard to make new friends late in life.

One guy "broke the internet" on this by telling people to show up at the same places regularly. School, work, hobby...

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Riemann · 31-35, M

@FlowersNButterflies Hey, I think I kind of understand the showing up in same places regularly. Then you get to meet or be met by someone who is also looking to meet.

FlowersNButterflies · 61-69, F

@Riemann Maybe people know they can count on you.

Riemann · 31-35, M

@FlowersNButterflies In what?

Elevatorpitches · F

cause it not about lonely people "finding" one another

How the hell can they? Or anybody if they are looking for others and are prevented by people s idiotic paranoia and no where to gather and fifty other things that keep us isolated...and not looking a certain way or having money to buy experiences...

Also loneliness is about being invisible on many fronts and not just PHYSICAL..think unemployment, living in places with no people on the streets anywhere and all that kind of thing...

think prejudice and discrimination and judging people cause its easy and excluding them from our precious "circles"

Think about not being connected with childhood friends for whatever reason or maybe having no family or people around them who could care if they exist or not...

Think modern life. Facebook won't "fix" that. Neither will SW or tawdry advice to go forth and connect.

Riemann · 31-35, M

@Elevatorpitches All of these is Loneliness.. Another lonely person probably can relate and understand better. Ik in social media people are finding one another. It's just in all sorts of places whether online or offline the connecting is not more common.

SW-User

If only it were that simple. A lot of lonely people still have expectations and it just isn't that simple.
Sometimes, loneliness is because we don't have that someone who filled the empty places.
I don't think I'm up to putting myself out there again and hoping someone will accept me as I am.
All kinds of reasons, I guess!

Riemann · 31-35, M

@SW-User I read another post about expectation. The thing is no one is perfect.
Being accepted like that is very rare right?

SW-User

@Riemann In my life, only two men have accepted me as the person I was.. the first one didn't stick around long and the second one accepted me til the day he died. It is rare to accept people for their hearts and someone to share life with and to be accepted that way.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Preferences. Most are picky. Actually nearly everyone.

SW-User

Well, connecting with the right person doesn't seem to be as easy as it sounds. It's not like a 'hook-up' type thing where you just run off with the first person to come along - from what I understand.

Riemann · 31-35, M

@SW-User I read this in more than 1 post. No one is perfect so finding connection with the right individual is extremely rare.

SW-User

@Riemann Yeah I'd say that's true. Given that, that's maybe why people will still choose loneliness over the pain of a fractured love. Idk.

SW-User

Because more often than not,they’re alone for a reason

Riemann · 31-35, M

@SW-User But still 'alone'.

MrBlueGuy

I think it's more than just meeting someone else a lot of people who are lonely generally feel isolation even when there are other people around. Two lonely people could still be lonely together. It might even be worse. It would probably be better for them to overcome whatever issues are causing them to feel lonliness in the first place...anxiety or depression or whatever.