I Write What I Feel
[b]Impasse[/b]
______________
We sat comfortably on opposite sides of the couch, facing each other, talking away without a care in the world. Though our conversation was light, each touched on topics closer to the heart too, focusing mainly on the ironies of life.
Still, much laughter was had.
The last laugh shared though, it was a rueful one, and a silence came upon the room as the weight of those words settled around us. We gazed at each other, our conversation becoming wordless.
As I looked upon her, I saw her smile slowly fade, the joy of our time together quickly gathering shadow in her expressions, and then she turned away.
The stillness lingered, comfort between us steadily fading, and before long she rose and walked towards the door.
She paused upon reaching it, then turned towards me. I could see a melancholic resolve in her eyes.
“Time for me to go?” I asked gently, and she nodded.
“Okay” I replied.
I collected myself and headed towards the way out.
Approaching her, I thought to give her a simple hug and kiss on the cheek, but she shifted to keep distance between us, and I did not press further.
My attempts at eye contact were avoided as well.
“I had a wonderful time.” I said, trying to keep my voice upbeat, attempting to fool the both of us that nothing was amiss.
She summoned an obviously pained smile, her eyes glistening as tears built, and said she had too.
Subdued goodbyes followed and I stepped out past the door, onto the porch, and into the night; my eyes catching upon the stars above.
A moment later I heard the door close behind me.
I stood there, my thoughts racing, my eyes searching the Heavens for answers I knew they wouldn’t find, when heard what sounded like a soft thump against the door.
Pausing, I turned back towards the entryway and spoke her name, asking “Are you alright? Was it something I said?”.
The sounds in the evening air my only reply.
I had decided that I should leave, but before I could react, I heard her voice “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry. I’m okay.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk? I don’t like leaving this way.”
There was no reply.
I considered what to do, then spun and let my back meet the door in an obvious manner and slid down it, likely mimicking her movement on the other side.
Wrapping my arms around my knees I wondered about what I should say, or whether I should anything at all.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to sit here for a while, okay? If you need me, I’m here.” I finally offered.
There was a short pause, and then I heard her say “Thank you”, muffled as it was, from behind the door.
And there we sat, together yet apart, in quiet company. Our proximity providing comfort despite the barrier between us, until at last, some hours later, she finally bid me goodnight and I made my way home.
______________
We sat comfortably on opposite sides of the couch, facing each other, talking away without a care in the world. Though our conversation was light, each touched on topics closer to the heart too, focusing mainly on the ironies of life.
Still, much laughter was had.
The last laugh shared though, it was a rueful one, and a silence came upon the room as the weight of those words settled around us. We gazed at each other, our conversation becoming wordless.
As I looked upon her, I saw her smile slowly fade, the joy of our time together quickly gathering shadow in her expressions, and then she turned away.
The stillness lingered, comfort between us steadily fading, and before long she rose and walked towards the door.
She paused upon reaching it, then turned towards me. I could see a melancholic resolve in her eyes.
“Time for me to go?” I asked gently, and she nodded.
“Okay” I replied.
I collected myself and headed towards the way out.
Approaching her, I thought to give her a simple hug and kiss on the cheek, but she shifted to keep distance between us, and I did not press further.
My attempts at eye contact were avoided as well.
“I had a wonderful time.” I said, trying to keep my voice upbeat, attempting to fool the both of us that nothing was amiss.
She summoned an obviously pained smile, her eyes glistening as tears built, and said she had too.
Subdued goodbyes followed and I stepped out past the door, onto the porch, and into the night; my eyes catching upon the stars above.
A moment later I heard the door close behind me.
I stood there, my thoughts racing, my eyes searching the Heavens for answers I knew they wouldn’t find, when heard what sounded like a soft thump against the door.
Pausing, I turned back towards the entryway and spoke her name, asking “Are you alright? Was it something I said?”.
The sounds in the evening air my only reply.
I had decided that I should leave, but before I could react, I heard her voice “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry. I’m okay.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk? I don’t like leaving this way.”
There was no reply.
I considered what to do, then spun and let my back meet the door in an obvious manner and slid down it, likely mimicking her movement on the other side.
Wrapping my arms around my knees I wondered about what I should say, or whether I should anything at all.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to sit here for a while, okay? If you need me, I’m here.” I finally offered.
There was a short pause, and then I heard her say “Thank you”, muffled as it was, from behind the door.
And there we sat, together yet apart, in quiet company. Our proximity providing comfort despite the barrier between us, until at last, some hours later, she finally bid me goodnight and I made my way home.
