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Does this seem f!cked up or justified? I'm conflicted.

In exactly a week cause I'm moving back to my hometown since I just graduated. Thinking of leaving without saying goodbye to my college "bff". I put that in marks because it doesn't feel like we are. We don't even hang or talk like we used to. I can barely even get a text back. She graduated last year and works full time now. I totally respect she works and is in a relationship with the boyfriend she lives with.

My reasoning for wanting to leave without saying anything is because she says she's super busy with work so she can't reply and doesn't have time for anyone but yet she talks about going out with her frat friends and her bf. Or goes to raves with them. Get this: we don't even live that far from each other(10mins at most).Took her off Snapchat last year because she always posted stuff with the frat but never replied until later. Her excuse was always, "Omg, I just got your text, my phone isn't working. I don't get notifications." *eye roll*

If she actually wanted to hang out before I leave she would've contacted me already. She knows that I'm leaving and I've told her already. I've talked to her about how we don't talk much and she apologizes but nothing has changed. I've just been really disappointed/hurt by previous friendships this past year which is another reason why I just wanna leave town. I'm moving 6hrs away and I'm not coming back.

If you were in my situation what would you do?
Serenitree · F
Leave. If she wants to know why you didn't say goodbye, ask her why she never called you knowing you were leaving.

You know this friendship is over anyhow. She obviously never intended it to go beyond graduation. Enjoy any good memories you've made together, and let go of the rest.

Your adult life begins NOW. She is part of the growing years.
Serenitree · F
@UltimateZero: is it selfish to hope that someone cares enough to notice that you're missing from their life? Is it selfish to hope she cares? Sure it is. It is selfish to want love and joy and success. But without that kind of selfishness, we strive for nothing. It's selfishness that causes us to work and earn a living. If we are lucky, we work at something we love. This is also selfish, but in my opinion, selfish can be another word for survival skills.
UltimateZero · 26-30
@Serenitree: Wow. You knocked some sense into me. Mind if I screen shot this quote? Cause that's so deep. That's so true...we strive for nothing and its only in our nature to feel as such because we wouldn't be where we are with out it. Without this drive we wouldn't have the people we have in our lives. And if they aren't willing enough to care then that's on them.
Serenitree · F
@UltimateZero: indeed. You just go be as selfish as it takes to make your life worth living.
I'm sorry you have suffered disappointment. I hope you choose not to take it personally. Her behaviour is more a reflection on who she is as a person than who you are. Her style of communication is evasive and not honest. Regardless of what her other charms may be, we all deserve to be treated with honesty and respect simply because we all have feelings.

In your situation, I would find a really nice card, maybe something with a photo of a spectacular flower. I'd write a very pleasant message with two or three comments about the good qualities of your friendship in its early days. Then I'd wish her well in her future life and sign it with "warm regards." I'd leave out all the hurt I feel. Leave no sign of clinging or begging. This would leave a pleasant taste in her memories.

Sometimes, late in life, old friends get curious to see what happened to the people they once knew. A good message makes that possible.
UltimateZero · 26-30
@clothos: well I didn't leave a letter or anything but I did send her a message saying that I was going to be leaving town. You know sort of just implying that I wanted to say goodbye or you know to give her a chance to say goodbye to me and stop by. And it's like she didn't really reply that you just said oh let's hang out but literally no plans were made and I feel like she was avoiding me. Already moved back home and she still didn't reply to my message.
UltimateZero · 26-30
@firefall: YES!!! I was just thinking the same thing. I'm not the type to chase after others. If they wanted to hang out they would've shown that. I think she wouldn't take my time here for granted if she was a real friend.
firefall · 61-69, M
Id do the same - when words and deed's conflict, believe deeds
sogdianrock · 61-69, M
hi UltimateZero
sure move on - she has. Friendships run their course. It does not debase the earlier friendship and is just in the nature of friendship.
Best wishes
:)
This message was deleted by its author.
Serenitree · F
@updown2020: did you really read the original story? Or just skip to the end. It is all explained.
This message was deleted by its author.
Serenitree · F
@updown2020: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. I was asking, because you seemed to have missed the salient points.
One...they haven't been roommates for a couple of years
Two.....the other girl is simply not interested.

 
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