So...this guy is in his 30s...

Unemployed:
Give him a list of employment agencies.

Drug problems: Recommend several good rehab facilities. If he can't afford them, give him the phone # of a 12 step group.

Conflict seeking behavior/emotionally needy: Avoid all arguments with him. Give him the phone number of a psychology referral service so he can find a good shrink.

Now you have done your job. The rest is up to him. There is every chance he will do nothing. But at least you will have done all you can do. Please do not try to be an amateur shrink, amateur social worker, amateur job counselor etc. These people can suck you dry so take care of yourself.

You dont.. Not until he is ready to be helped.. It will damage you to try and he wont care.

Unless the person is ready to go to a rehabilitation facility, you can do nothing at all

You can’t do much apart for be there for him when he does come around asking for help. The most painful thing is watching someone slide into destruction of their own doing and still feeling like if you’d only done something sooner it all could have been avoided.

But the reality is that we’re powerless, unless we go to a higher authority to get it handled. Which might just destroy your relationship for good.

It’s a shitty situation that you don’t deserve but has happened anyway.

You don't.
Because they don't want your help.

When you're in the business of helping people, can't isn't an answer.

He needs help finding out why he's emotionally needy, why he is drug dependent and try to quit drugs.

Having a job while on drugs won't work out. He can find a job after he tends to his problems.

And listen, that's what friends do. Listen and be honest.

You- don't? Unless a psychologist or councilor.

You don't. Have to be responsible for themselves.

You don't. Let him help himself.

Honestly, he has to want to help himself or no attempt by others to help him will succeed.

Is this you?